The TRUTH about Spirit
John Turner grew up in gangs. They became his family, the people he trusted, hung out with, and with whom he felt at home. He spent a lot of time outside, passing the hours sitting at tables in the park. The outdoors felt safe; he was surrounded by his brothers, his gang members.
Something else started happening, though. There, at those tables in the park, is where John started to sense something moving and stirring inside him. It wasn’t something he could name at the time, but he knew that a spiritual side of him was speaking to him, making its presence known. When that spirit took hold of him, he became certain that God – a God he never connected with in church – was making contact.
Being part of a gang had its rough moments. Even though these hardened men were John’s family, tough love was often the name of the game. If you wanted to ride with the big dogs, you had to take some crap and not complain. John got bullied, they made fun of the way he spoke, but he wasn’t going to let that stand in the way of being part of something bigger than himself, so he just manned up and did what he needed to do, selling drugs and keeping his brothers happy, proving to them and himself that he was down with the action.
John began to feel torn inside. He saw that spirituality and especially God didn’t work for him when he was involved with the gang. He figured out that a life of crime kept the Spirit at a distance. But that voice that had started talking to him at those tables in the park was getting louder, harder to ignore. So, John would walk away, out of earshot of his brothers, and he would yell at God. He would yell at God, shouting, “What do you want from me?!” John was just a confused teenager who needed him family, his gang, but the cold, hard fact was that God needed him more. He tried to remove the Spirit from his awareness, tried to pawn it off on others, but God’s voice was persistent.
John learned that the rough life of a gangbanger got in the way of him being able to hear his inner voice. And while it didn’t feel like he had much choice – a man must survive on the streets! – he learned to take time out and listen…to use his vision, his feelings, and his spirituality to connect with a God that he was only beginning to comprehend. He started to realize that he could use his street sense to read people and to see God in all things. Nothing came easy, but with time – time alone, time with Spirit – John started experiencing a sense of personal power. Yes, he felt alone and lonely, but more importantly, he truly began to experience more fully his own true spirituality, growing like a strong, sturdy tree inside him.